Self-Care for the Times

When did feeling worried, exhausted, frustrated, and unhinged become the new norm? You want to know what to do but you’re so afraid it has to feel really hard until, well… it doesn’t.

When womxn come to me frustrated and totally depleted it shows me one thing: you’re not doing it wrong you were just never taught how to do it in the way that feels right for you.

My definition of self-care means showing up lovingly for yourself every single day. It means being gentle when you feel frantic. It means taking space away from the chaos even when it feels impossible. Indulging in the tiniest activities that evoke sanity and ease for you. It means being willing to look a little deeper when you’re about to stick your head in the freezer for some ice cream, or about to scream at your husband because he’s not reading your mind like you wish he would.

Spa days, bubble baths and massages are awesome if you’ve got the time and money. I would never tell you not to invest in them because these absolutely do add to your life. But, I like to look at those as the ‘high end’ varieties of self-care. For someone who is continually avoiding taking care of herself, these are not the answer because excuses about why you can’t, will run rampant. If you’re already feeling run down those thoughts will only bring you further down the rabbit hole.

Self-care is patience and kindness to yourself. It’s a practice. It changes as you change. And it’s something most women who are really stressed think is optional. It’s not. {Tweet it} 

It’s not about finding 5 hours, it’s about finding 5 minutes a day.

The #1 thing you need to stop doing if you’re feeling overwhelmed is continuously not taking care of yourself on the most basic levels.

So what I’d like for you to do right now (and over the next few days) is to take a look at the places in your life where you’re feeling totally stressed, overwhelmed and unfocused. Make a list. Write down every place where your energy is going and how it’s making you feel. You’ll be gathering data for the next few days. This exercise will help bring awareness to the places in your life where stress is growing so we can make some feel good adjustments. Then, we can add in some loving self-care on a daily basis which will add to your health and happiness.

I’ve made it super simple for you – use this worksheet I created for you.

First, you’ll look at the places that are causing your stress on a regular basis in your life. 

Second, you will uncover where you feel it in your body – basically you name it. Let’s play with the feeling of anxiety. If you’re feeling anxious ask yourself, when do these feelings come up? What activities am I engaged in when I feel anxiety? Make a mental note of it right now if it’s helpful.

Third is extra credit. When you’ve done steps 1 + 2 next you can create a menu of self-care action steps. The moment your anxiety flares up again you’ll have a mini plan to feel better with ease. You’ll feel empowered because you’ll know exactly what to do. List at least 3 but up to 10 so you have some variety.

Here’s an example:

  • deep breathing at your desk
  • take a quick walk outside
  • grab a favorite essential oil {orange is awesome for mood boosting} and rubbing in your palms as you connect with your breath, inhaling and exhaling for at least 6 rounds
  • take off your shoes and walk outside to get grounded
  • call a friend who is funny and will make you laugh
  • watch stupid but ridiculously cute puppy videos on Youtube
  • try a meditation!

When you’re practicing basic self-care you’ll be feeling so much more like the real you. When you’re not feeling like yourself it’s really important that you acknowledge those basic feelings of ‘something feels off’ and taking one small action step to shift out of the low vibration. You deserve that.

Eliza CeciComment